Enough is Enough

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"Enough is enough, I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane. Now everybody strap in. I'm about to open some fucking windows." - Special Agent Neville Flynn.

Yes, that is a quote from the memorable film Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. Jackson, Keenen from Keenen and Kel, and that really ugly bitch from Kingpin.

For those who have been watching this team all season, the quote selection should seem logical. Enough is fucking enough. We've had it watching this mother fucking team play night in and night out like they are asleep. We've had it with this mother fucking coach and his dumb mother fucking decisions. We've had it with this mother fucking general manager and his mother fucking inability to eye talent and more importantly construct a mother fucking hockey team. We've had it with these mother fucking owners, and their mother fucking inability to make the necessary financial decisions to yield a winning hockey club.

Enough.Is.Enough.

Let's start with "this mother fucking team." Oh, where to begin. Where to fucking begin. It all starts, and it all ends with the goalie in this great game. Fortunately, San Jose has pretty damn good goalie in the form of Evegeni Nabokov. He has single-handedly at times not only kept this team in games, but even managed to win a few for the losers (such as Roenick) playing in front of him. He has also started in 58 of the 59 games this season. It is starting to show. The last two weeks have been his worst of the season, and he simply like the top five goalie he was through much of the season. We'll excuse him for now, as without him, this team is no where.

Now the defense. Pundits around the league love to praise this group for the very few amount of goals which they have allowed this season. Observers of the Sharks know better. We know that while Ehrhoff has the tools and is using them more and more in his own zone, he simply lacks the brain or hockey intelligence so that he will not be considered a liability. We know that while Rivet has played his ass off, and is the kind of ass-kicker this team is lacking, he is way over his head attempting to fill the roll of a number one or number two defensmen. We know that while Vlasic is a very nice young player on defense, his inability to throw a check and move his man off the puck leaves a lot to be desired, and that while he could become a low end number two defenseman in this league, he is not the future number one blue liner this team needs. We know that Matt Carle is a mother fucking joke. End of story. We know that Murray will become exposed horribly should this team make the playoffs, and lastly we know that Ozolinsh is probably getting faded as I right this pathetic entry. Lastly, we all know that despite the recent increase in scoring by our blue-liners, this team lacks a defensmen who can make an outlet pass out of his own zone to start the non-existent transition game, a defenseman who can fire the puck hard and accurately on net with consistency, and a defenseman who knows how to read the play and jump in when necessary. Basically: the defensive corp is flawed both offensively and defensively. They require that the forwards hang back to cover up their weaknesses, yet at the same time they do not have the offense to overcome this defensive minded play by the forwards. Bummer, eh? Mother fuckers...

Now the forwards. They are the ones who make us yell profanities more often than not. They are the ones who are responsible for San Jose having among the lowest goal total in the entire NHL. Outside of Joe Thornton, they can all pretty much go to hell. Cheechoo cannot skate, and he is not working hard enough to overcompensate this, Michalek cannot finish, and is too inconsistent, and our Captain is just having a case of Mondays that has lasted the entire season. I only mention those four, because ultimately they are the ones who make the offense go. If they do not produce, it does not matter what the others do. Speaking of the others, not only can they not hit anyone, they also cannot score. Checking line anyone? Not on this team. It's a real tragedy when Roenick, Jeremy fucking Roenick has the biggest onions of any forward. Some would like to give the forwards a pass, as they have been forced to adapt this defensive style of collapsing deeply into their own zone, and also have not been able to form any sense of rhythm with their linemates, as the lines are changed seemingly every game. I am not one of those people. If you are offensively crippled, like so many of San Jose's forwards are, then you best work three times as hard as your opponent, you best sacrifice the body to create a play, and you MUST hit your oppoenent so that his offensive game lowers to your level. Simple right? Not for the Sharks "grinders." Instead, we get Marcel Goc, Grier, Rissmiller. Give me a fucking break. Those are not hockey players...

To recap thus far
1) Goaltending: Carried the team thus far, starting to falter.
2) Defensemen: Weak in their own zone, do not provide the offensive ability to "make up" for these shortcomings
3) Forwards: All but one are slumping, overall scoring talent is piss poor, never saw a check they would not throw, have the smallest testis of any set of forwards in the NHL.

I have no energy to type anymore, and if you remember, I said there were four mother fucking problems with this team: personnel, coach, general manager, owners. One down, three to go. Another day.